I can't do this to her
by AverageSanePsycho
Summary: Regina's fear gets the better of her at the thought of Snow knowing about her relationship with Emma. Does the tentative friendship that Regina and Snow have constructed mean the end of her relationship with Emma?
Emma opened her front door to a dishevelled looking Regina and pulled her into her apartment and led her over to the sofa.

"Hey, what's wrong" Emma asked a catatonic Regina.

"I, I'm..." Regina tried to answer the blonde but she couldn't speak, she didn't have the word to say.

"Regina your scaring me, what's wrong?" Emma asked as she placed her hands gently on Regina's shoulders and looked at her with a confused and worried face.

"Please Regina,tell me what's wrong?" She pleaded again.

But Regina still couldn't answer. She tried but the words died in her throat and then her voice cracked and her tears fell freely down her face, her lip trembled and her body shook with small sobs.

"Regina! What the hell, tell me! You're scaring me" Emma tried again frantically.

"I'm sorry" she finally managed between sobs wiping her eyes and taking deep breaths trying to control her body.

"What for?" Emma asked completely puzzled by the brunette.

"This. Can't. Happen!" She got out between sobs.

"What can't" the blonde questioned completely confused by what was happening.

"You, Me, Us! This" the older women answered, gesturing between herself and the younger woman.

"Where is this coming from?" Emma raised her voice completely taken off guard by Regina. The two of them had been in a relationship for the past three months. They kept it a secret from everyone not wanting to give Henry false hope if things did not work out between them. They had always known there had been a physical attraction between them but they wanted to be sure it went deeper than that. That's what confused her the most. Things had been great between them. She really thought she'd found her happy ending. From there first kiss three months ago their relationship had blossomed. They had shared their deepest darkest secrets, they had opened up to one another like neither had done with anyone before. They had date night weekly and lunch almost every day. They spent time together as a family in the evenings and although Henry didn't know about the true nature of their relationship they could see how happy he was with them spending time together as a family.

"I'm not good for you Emma!" She really tried to make the statement sound convincing but she didn't believe anything she was saying so the words fell from her mouth with no conviction.

"What! Your perfect for me" she argued defensively.

"You deserve someone who can make you happy, who makes your life easy"

"I don't want easy"

"I have too much baggage"

"I have baggage too"

"You deserve more than me"

"I don't want more than you! I just want you. There can't possibly be more than you. You are all I need." the blondes lip began to tremble as she realised exactly what Regina was trying to say.

"You deserve your perfect fairytale ending"

"You are my fairytale ending. You, Me and Henry that's all I've ever wanted, to part of a family.!" She managed before a sob escaped her lips. Both women now cried openly.

"I'm not right for you. You're too good for me. I'm the Evil Queen! I tried to kill you! I tried to kill your mother and father multiple times!"

"It's the past, I care about now, about us"

"There can't be an us Emma" Regina was unable to meet the blonde eyes as she uttered the words aloud.

"There's already an us, there's always been an us... What brought this on?" The blonde demanded.

"I just realised how much of a mistake we are making here..." The sad expression that Regina wore on her face was not missed by the blonde.

"I'm a mistake?" The blonde spat out with wide eyes and a hurt expression on her own face.

"No your not a mistake, this last few months have been everything to me, you and Henry are everything too me"

"Then tell me why this is a mistake!"

"I can't do this to her!" She spat out.

"To who? What are you even taking about, you're making no sense!"

"Your mother" Regina said in a quiet voice.

"My mother? What does she have to do with any of this?"

Regina just sobbed uncontrollably unable to answer Emma.

"What are you saying here! You and my mother? You have feeling..."

"No that's not what I'm saying... AT ALL" she took a few deep breaths before trying to explain herself.

"I'm saying I hurt her too many times, I can't take her daughter from her and more importantly I can't ask you to choose between me and your family"

"You're my family too. You, me, Henry and my parents. We are a family"

"We are tentative friends at the most, but I'm ok with that. I don't even deserve that from your parents or you!"

"My mother loves you Regina"

"She tolerates me. Part of her must still hate me I took you away from her for 28 years!."

"She hates the Evil Queen. You are not her. You're Regina. You're the person who saved her life, who taught her to ride, who braided her hair." The blonde said with a sad smile.

"She told you about those things?" Regina was confused as to why Snow would even share those stories with Emma.

"She did. She doesn't hate you. In fact a few times I was worried she might have a crush on you herself" the small laugh that escaped Emma's lips seemed a complete contrast to the sad, tear stained face it came from.

Regina looked horrified at the blondes declaration.

"She doesn't, don't worry I checked."

"How exactly did you do that?" Regina raised an eyebrow in confusion.

"She may know how I feel about you."

"What?"

"She knows that I have feelings for you."

"How?"

"I may have accused her of having a crush on you!"

"What!"

"I'd been drinking. She wouldn't shut up about how wonderful you are, about all the amazing things you did together. I know it was irrational but I was jealous ok. So I may have suggested she had a 'big lesbian crush on you'."

"And then what happened" the former Evil Queen was completely taken by surprise that there was any chance that Snow White knew of her relationship with her daughter.

"She told me she was happily married to my father, had no romantic interest in you what so ever or any other women for that matter. She also suggested maybe I should take a look at my own feelings towards you"

"Was she angry?"

"No. She was amused."

"Amused?"

"She thought that my big lesbian crush on you was amusing"

"Why would she be amused?"

"Jesus Regina I don't know do yo want me to call her up and ask her?!"

"what no! Don't do that!"

"This isn't about my mother! It's about you and me"

"But she'll never accept me and you"

"She already accepts me and you"

"How can she?"

"Because she knows the real you and she loves you"

"That's insane"

"I can't keep going round in circles with you so i think you should go..."

"Ok" Regina replied getting up from her position on the sofa.

"Ok?, that's it! That's all you've got to say?"

"I don't know what you want from me."

"I want you to be honest"

"I'm scared"

"I'm scared too"

"I don't want to hurt you

"Then don't"

"I don't want you to hurt me"

"I won't"

Emma took Regina's hand in her own and led her to the bedroom.

"I'm scared"

"I know, but there's nothing to be scared of"

"Everyone I love dies"

"You..."

Regina eyes go wide as she realises her mistake. Emma noticed the other women tense so decided to let the comment slip. She took the older woman by the hand and led her into her bedroom.

"Lay down" she said with a soft smile. Once Regina is on the bed Emma removes her shoes before removing her own and climing onto the bed behind her.

"I love you Regina Mills and no matter what happens your worth the risk."

"I can't risk losing you. I wont."

"I don't mean the risk of me dying. I'm not dying, but anything else together we can face it like we always do. Like we always will do. We're a team. We are a family."

"I love you"

"I love you too"

Emma kisses Regina's forehead before wrapping her arms protectively around the brunettes small frame and held her tightly as they both cried freely.

Regina knew that tomorrow she needed to speak to Snow. She needed to face her fears and fight for the woman she loved. She needed to show Snow that she was worthy of her daughters love and prove that she was worthy of her friendship.

A/N

So after the Snow/Regina scene in 5x13 I couldn't stop thinking about how Regina would deal with having to tell Snow about her relationship with Emma now they're friends. I actually don't think she would deal well with it at all.

This is completely random but I was really struggling to write the next chapter of operation ears and 50% of this ended up it that so I thought it best to take it out change it up and make it a one shot as it really doesn't fit into the story.


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